Real Joy Isn’t Always Contagious

Have you ever wished that finding and experiencing joy was as easy as baking chocolate chip cookies? I mean, it’s the "Holiday Season." It comes around once a year and…everyone should be joyful and full of holiday cheer, right? I mean, this is the time of year that families are reconnecting or reconciling, whichever works. Old friends are getting together. All peoples of the universe should be bursting with happiness. After all, Thanksgiving is only a few days away. And nobody fries chicken like my momma!!! (Sorry if you thought yo momma’s chicken is better than mine.)

What if you, somehow, could take a big GI-NORMOUS bowl and mix in some old friends or maybe your favorite set of family members? (Now that might be a tuffy J ) Some good food, some good music, stick them in the oven, and eureka... just like magic, instant joy and holiday cheer.

Well, unfortunately having peace, contentment, joy and satisfaction doesn’t quite come about as easy as mixing together chocolate chip cookies. For many folks this time of year can be difficult.

My father died at the age of 49 in December, 1996. Haven’t thought about this much……. don’t mean to get personal, but transparency is always therapeutic…..anyway, about a week ago I was talking with my son, Drew, who's 11, about my father. Drew has never met my daddy so consequently he doesn’t refer to him as grandpa. We talked about the night my daddy died. His death was a complete surprise to the entire family. At a time when everyone was celebrating and enjoying one another’s company, I was busy making funeral arrangements for my dad.

I was 27 when my dad died and I can still remember the pain just like it was yesterday. Drew, my son, is so inquisitive. He asked me if I cried, which is a reasonable question coming from an 11 year old. He hasn’t seen me cry much, if at all, so I thought, well yea, that’s a good question. I told him, "You know I was so busy making funeral arrangements I don’t think I had time to cry or mourn, really." I do remember crying and mourning some at dad’s services but I don’t ever really remember having much time after or before to mourn my daddy’s death. I think I know why. Allow me a minute to explain…but God.

You know, God has a way of taking our intense sorrows and griefs and turning them into instant Joy and Gladness. Some of you are thinking, “Wait a minute Pastor. You’re telling me it’s wrong to mourn or grieve a death?” No, I’m not saying that at all but what I am saying is that God gives to us, as his children, a guaranteed recipe to having full joy, especially during times of intense sadness. And wouldn’t you know it, God is the best cook ever.

Check out how the apostle Paul explains God’s “secret ingredients" (in my Jack Black voice) to getting and keeping full joy. I’ll pause here for a sec to give you a chance to go and grab a pin. You might want to write this verse down, it’s a gooden: Philippians2:1-8 “If [there be] therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, [being] of one accord, of one mind.3[Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.4Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.5Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”

Paul says the key to having full joy is to make your business all about handling the business of God. That word “Fulfil” found in the text means; “to complete or fill up.” If joy, comfort and peace are things I want. Then having these things true in my life will only be accomplished as I began to think like Christ. The text says the same in verse 5, “let this mind, be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” Well then, with that being said, it’s fair to ask “How do I get the mind of Christ?” Because again, having the mind of Christ is how my joy cup fills up and runs over. Paul gives to us the ingredients that all people every where need. Run and get your self a GI-NORMOUS bowl, and mix in some: humility, putting others first, some forgiveness, forgetting about your riches and wealth so others can enjoy the riches, forget about your reputation so others benefit. Obey God and His Word, even when following him seems crazy or ill advised.

Ok. The things I listed are what Christ did for us. So when we do what Christ did, we will, at that point, experience full joy.

Ok. Back to my Dad….almost finished bear with me. My Dad remarried when I was eight years of age or so. The reason why it was so difficult for me to mourn my Dad’s death is because my Dad and I were not very close. However, my Dad had a son from his second marriage. I knew my Dad’s son but he wasn’t really a brother. To be honest, he was just like another kid, at least that’s how I saw it. Well, this son, Antwan, was a lot closer to Dad than I ever was. When Dad died Antwan, who was 12 at the time, had a huge void in his life.

God, through the power of the Holy Spirit, began to work in the heart of my wife. And she fell in love with this knuckle head. It was as if she knew something about this kid that I didn’t. Well, long story short, my fathers son, my brother, moved in to our home almost a month after my dad passed and we raised that boy just like he was our own child. It took a lot of sacrifice. It took us not thinking about our reputation. It took some forgiveness on my part for sure. God took all of the hurt and pain and turned it into joy almost instantly. Antwan is now 28 years old, has a loving wife and 5 beautiful kids, and his kids call me Papa.

I didn’t stuff the feelings about my Dad’s death into a corner. The truth is, I really couldn’t mourn his death because so much good came from something so tragic. I know someone is reading this that needs to read this. I am very sorry for writing such a long post but I know from experience that when we get and keep the mind of Christ, genuine joy certainly does follow.